Keep Calm and Kill the Chef by Livia Day

Author:Livia Day [Day, Livia]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781922101624
Publisher: Twelfth Planet Press
Published: 2019-09-19T04:00:00+00:00

16

Xanthippe Should Never Drink Gimlets

(after the murder)

(also after a long night at the bar)

I woke up in my old room at Tabitha’s house, under an unfamiliar doona, and stared at the ceiling for a few minutes before piecing together the circumstances that led me here.

This. This is why I shouldn’t drink gimlets, no matter how stylish and retro they are. Mojitos at least come with vegetation, a sprig of mint to help the body prepare for the morning after. Gimlets are pure pale green doom.

Too late, I realised Tabitha chose last night’s outfit to match the drinks theme.

A body shifted next to me, and I flipped back the doona to see the dark curls and glitter-streaked face of TV presenter, Kari Nagarra. Huh. That was unexpected. I vaguely remembered her arriving at the Grind, but I wasn’t sure if it was before or after we all decided the fourth gimlet was a bitching idea.

“Ugh, coffee,” she muttered, and dragged the doona back over her head, protecting us both from an awkward conversation.

Wearing last night’s camisole and a pair of clean boxers stolen from Jason’s drawers, I wandered out into the rest of the house, stepping over a snoring, still-zebra-frocked Ceege in the corridor on my way.

Tabitha and Stewart were fast asleep on the couch, both fully dressed, in a position that the council for the prosecution could only describe as ‘canoodling’. His arm was slung around her, anyway, and her face was squashed into his shoulder.

Quinn was curled up in one of the armchairs, also fast asleep, his fake eyelashes making spider shapes on his cheeks.

I found Jason fresh-faced and clean clothed in the kitchen, cooking what appeared to be an egg white omelette with Italian parsley. “Morning, sunshine,” he said cheerfully.

“Sorry I stole your bed.”

“S’okay, I wasn’t here. Went home with the coat check boy.”

I gave him a meaningful look, because apparently I’m still part of this makeshift family that Tabitha has gathered around her. “You’re being safe, right?”

“Yes, Mum,” he said sarcastically. “You know my generation are more carefree with our online information than we are with our dicks, right?”

I fumbled at the coffee machine until Jason moved me gently out of the way and started making me a macchiato. “That’s not reassuring,” I told him darkly. “Also, I’m only eight years older than you.”

“What’s that in dinosaur years?” he teased, but followed up with a cup of coffee, so I forgave him instantly. “Don’t fret, I exchanged Facebook info with him, we made out twice and then we spent like six hours playing Skyrim.”

Kids today. “Be cyber smart, don’t share passwords.”

Jase patted me on the head. “I just upgraded your status to Grandma. Don’t freak out, you’re still a cool Grandma.”

“Did we get the info we needed last night?” My brain was such a gimlet-induced wreck of gin and glitter that it wasn’t ready to boot up anything work-related. Like, waking up properly.

Jason shrugged at me. So helpful. “According to Quinn, Chef Crewe was stabbed at close quarters, not from a distance.

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